Hai, G here.
After long time of silence, I am back here, i already graduate from my lovely campus and now I am officially bachelor of communication, you know what in this phase of my life I start to figure out things that had been going in my life and take it to the next level, In my mind I have a lot of things to say, but I have no one to talk, like.. no one, literally no one. I have friends, physically, but I have no one to talk, no one to share the feeling of fresh-graduate girl who start working and got some culture shock between to world of student life and work life, well, I am not supposed to shock by it because if I am smart I should expect the best and the worst for every decision I’ve made. But now, look, sitting down in the office chair and start thinking, regrets and keep blaming my self, why am I do that ? I only need someone who truly get what I mean and talk for like an hour without complaining about time wasted. I know I am the one who choose for being single, but the problem is not in my relationship status, why if I choose to be single ?? why those bunch of relationship people keep blaming all of my question above because of I am single ?? so do you guys mean that a single-girl not supposed to have a quality talk with someone ?? so they should keep it all by their self ? nuhhh.
That’s what makes me really sick with people nowadays, their priority, their lifestyle, their mindset, I just feel like I am not belong here, I am different from them, I keep got angry with everyone, everything just went into wrong way and not like whattay expect, yall know when it happened it will hit you right in your heart, but who cares ? the world don’t give a F about it, so after long long time of thinking, I found something that some people might thought that it is too classic or cliché, but somehow, it works, I start to do everything that truly comes from my heart and if I feel uncomfortable about doing something than I will stop doing it, i stop explaining everything to people because I know until this day I cant find someone who truly get whattay mean so instead of debating about the meaning of my mind’s thoughts than I chose to stop explaining, until I get the chance to know someone that give a sign that he got whattay mean. Sometimes I think that I am just stupid person who try to make everyone happy while I know that I can’t do that and everytime I decide to be a good-girl everyone just start to be an evil, so what should I do ? sometimes it makes me hard to breath if I think about this life, how sucks it is and bad those people who have a bad behavior. I don’t get it, and I don’t know why keep writing right now, it just my mind who can’t stop thinking and sharing. People think I can do all the things they said but they never consider my feeling and my position, is that my fault ? should I explain why I ignore them ? do they have hearts and brain to get what the ignorance means ?, ah, and so sorry for this bad English, I am just to tired right now to thinking about grammar, so just let it flow. I keep a lot of things in my mind, after find out no one can understand me, I start to thinking why I don’t write it ? maybe it will helps. And now yah, you see a lot of words comin’ out.
You know, a lot of people say that “you are selfish and stubborn”, after that you will think that, “why they said that? ”, “which one of my behave or whattay say that makes them think like that ?” I think I behave like normal human responding something, is that wrong too ?, so I found the answer by my self after long time of thinking, people will always said that you are selfish and stubborn because they can’t defeat your opinion and because they can’t anything to blame it, they said that you are selfish, but I realize from it, they say that because they do selfish, because of they are selfish and stubborn too so they said that to us, because they want we follow what they say and that’s what the main point of being selfish, you want someone to follow your instruction or agree with your opinion and in the end I agree with what my lecture in my philosophy class said “our basic behave since the first human were created is SELFISH and full of Curiousity” so now, I just think that we can’t blame someone for being selfish, she/he is a human, that’s typical, so don’t judge and make yourself feel like the right one and not selfish. You do a selfish person ! live with that, get used with people’s ego and don’t blame anyone for any cases that you get loses when debating some argument, control your selfishness and live with it. Stop judging people for being stubborn and selfish they just reach the life’s phase when they can control their selfishness and killed yours. And for all the things that I’ve explain above, it’s all just my thought so go ahead with all your thought, but remember the best lesson in life is an experience, so before you experience what someone’s been trough than don’t judge their behavior, you never know what they’ve been through. Exist in your own term and let people live their life. we only live once so why you busy ruin someone’s life ? mind your own business, make it perfect life and inspiration for others life, show it, don’t tell it. I am sick of being told, your behave give me thousand words instead of your real-thousands word.
Keep wandering and thinking.
Peace in our hearts.